Questions / Suggestions Contact: Jim Maevers, 573-450-0180 or JimMaevers@Outlook.com
http://allmarineradio.com/ January 4, 2021 http://posttraumaticwinning.com/
1) We don’t “get over” the things that traumatize us
− Neither God nor any other cosmic force has invented the amount of time to heal traumatic wounds
− The phrase “time heals all wounds” is a well-intentioned lie
− Some days we can talk about traumatic events without issue and other days thoughts alone bring tears… don’t overreact to the difficult days that will certainly occur… expect them and be gentle with yourself
− IMPORTANT: to struggle with traumatic experiences is normal, there is absolutely nothing wrong with us when we do struggle – ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!
2) Trauma is a normal part of life and effects all of us at some point
− We’re not unique because we’ve lived through a traumatic event… most people do at some point in their lives
− Remember this quote… “nobody gets through the car wash without getting wet” – it’s true
− Remember this insight… lots of people live great lives after trauma enters their life, we can live great lives too
3) Trauma is Trauma is Trauma
− Whether the source of one’s trauma is child abuse, sexual assault, violent crime, terminal illness, drug overdose, personal tragedy, death of a loved one, combat, or some other traumatic incident… the source of trauma ultimately doesn’t matter
− Traumatic experiences, no matter what their origin is, have a deep and lasting impact on our lives
4) Feeling “damaged” by trauma is normal
− Traumatic experiences change us, they’re a lot to deal with… but we’re still the same people, capable of living great lives… some call the part of us that is changed “damaged”-- that feeling is a normal part of post-traumatic life
5) STOP FAKING MENTAL HEALTH - all of us are dealing with our own traumatic experiences
− With the people who care about you, don’t fake like you’re doing fine when you’re not
− With the people who care about you, don’t be afraid to say the words “I’m struggling today”
− When we’re honest about our mental health, we give others permission to talk about their struggles… and they will
6) WE GOTTA TALK ABOUT OUR TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCES
− In order to live a great life, we gotta talk about our traumatic experiences and the feelings that develop due to them
− We talk about our traumatic experiences for our own benefit and for the benefit of those we love and for no one else!
− The phrase “I’ll never go there with you because I love you...” is the path to destroyed relationships & isolation
− The first person we should talk with is our spouse or significant other, if you don’t have one, then someone you trust
− Stay connected to your “tribe” for life… the raw honesty of “tribal” relationships sustains us during life’s difficult times
GOAL #1: Learn to coexist with trauma
Once you accept the first six Commandments as valid… there is only one course of action to coexist. Coexisting with our traumatic experiences and the feelings we feel in their aftermath becomes our “new normal”
7) Physical fitness is essential to long-term mental health
− Every one of us knows the mental health benefits of physical fitness… so get active and remain active for life
8) Learn how to handle money WELL
− Financial stress creates feelings of life being “out of control” and is often a major factor in destructive behaviors
− Financial fitness creates stability and the feeling of control in our lives; stable finances are a part of mental health
9) IF YOU STRUGGLE WITH TRAUMA… QUIT Drinking -- QUIT Using Drugs
− FACT: no person has ever successfully dealt with traumatic experiences by abusing alcohol or drugs
− FACT: substance abuse is the single most detrimental thing we do when dealing with trauma’s aftermath
− Alcohol and drugs unleash our emotional pain on those who love us most… often driving them away… leaving us isolated
10) Develop “Wellness Practices” to positively channel post-traumatic stress reactions
− Wellness Practices are productive ways we “vent” the reactions that result from living with traumatic experiences... meditation, music, physical fitness, writing, yoga, talking and walking are examples… and there are countless others
− Wellness practices help keep us on the life-path that we choose… and outta life’s ditch
− Be deliberate and thorough when considering prescription medications… to include a plan to get off them
− Be deliberate and understand what you are supposed to “get out of” individual or group “talk therapy”
GOAL #2: Embrace self-discipline in your life: Discipline is a positive force in your life and will push against life’s negative forces on a daily basis − The path to sustained success in life is paved with self--discipline and that is especially necessary after traumatic experiences.
GOAL #3: Give
− By giving the traumatic wisdom embodied in these “3 Goals & 10 Commandments” to others as often as we can… by guiding others to a path that will transform their lives… we in turn transform our own lives
- Giving becomes the key to transforming our lives… and over time… moving from trauma to joy
− By guiding and coaching others affected by trauma… we live purpose driven lives of service… we make our … we live purpose driven lives of service… we make our communities stronger… our nation better
− Overwhelming traumatic experiences with joyful experiences is ultimately the key to transforming our lives and how we WIN
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